Dissertation Handed In

Just a short post to say: I handed my dissertation in. Hurrah! 9 months and 120 pages later and it's done!

ECP First Draft Feedback

I had a meeting with my supervisor on Monday about my Extended Creative Piece - First Draft. I was dreading it, because while my supervisor is a nice person, she can be a bit iffy. She says one thing to your face but when it comes to marking it her views are very different. I was also pleased with the work I had done and didn't want her to hate it, meaning I'd have to rewrite it entirely. So it was with some trepidation that I made my way to her office.

And yet, all this fear was unfounded.

She was happy to see me and friendly from the beginning. She even offered me tea and/or coffee, which I declined; I was way too nervous to drink. Her mugs looked questionable anyway. The first thing she said about my ECP was that she really enjoyed the beginning. She said it included a good sense of place, she knew who the character was, and it had a great opening line. Obviously this left me beaming. Of course, there were a few tiny mistakes, like clunky sentences, awkward wording, that sort of thing. Common things that can be easily sorted. What she really loved was this part, it had two ticks!

'Very well. I understand,' she said at last and Perry's hopes rose. 'But everyone will stay behind for ten minutes to make up for all the time you wasted with your elaborate display.' The whole class groaned as one and glared at Perry as he made his way back to his chair. The only person who didn't seem to mind was Gregory, who was still drawing eyes even though his pen had run out of ink.' 

She also liked the idea of the red-faced man and was impressed with the drawing I had done. She said that I should try to include it in my piece, like maybe at the beginning of each chapter.

However, she found the character change half-way through jarring. She said that the story was just getting into the action when it suddenly goes back in time to Lenore. I explained that I wanted to see everything from Lenore's point of view as she is really the main character. I had only put Perry's part first as I knew boys would be put off reading a female protagonist, while girls just wouldn't care. My supervisor agreed but I said I would rework it so that the two points of view run side by side, or something similar.

Overall, while I'm writing some good parts, I still need to work on developing the setting and being inside my characters head - seeing everything from their point of view and reacting in a way that they would. I have to have written another 3,000 words for two weeks time, as well as editing the first 3,000. That's on top of two essays and many creative pieces.

And people said third year would be hard...

ECP First Draft

Today I have a meeting with my ECP supervisor, Judy. I am a bit nervous, if she doesn't like it I'll be gutted. I'll post what she says about it here later on. But, I figured you'd want to read it before hand. So here is the first 3,000 words, remember I only have to write 8,000.

Perry could see the man again.

The man with no eyes, deadly sharp teeth, and red raw skin. The man that only he could see. Perry spotted him stood at the end of his road, as if he were a friend waiting to walk to school together. Perry hesitated before hurrying back to his house. As he closed the front door sharply behind him his mum called out from the kitchen.

   'Back already? Did you forget something?'

Perry didn't even bother telling her the truth.

   'Yeah, my maths book,' he yelled back as he ran up to his room.

He'd tried telling her before. But neither his mum nor dad believed him. They thought it was some imaginary friend, and his therapists thought it was a manifestation of a repressed childhood memory. Perry knew they were all wrong. One, fourteen was way too old for imaginary friends. Two, he’d had a perfectly happy childhood, what could he have repressed? This was definitely not something his mind had made up. He wasn't crazy.

He couldn't stay at home for too long, his mum would get suspicious. He leaned out his bedroom window in an attempt to see down the street but couldn't see a thing. He made his way downstairs and out of the house, his insides knotting themselves. He opened the front door slowly, praying to anyone that the red-faced man would be gone. His mum heard him leaving and called out after him. ‘Bye dear, have fun at school.’

Perry left the door on the latch as he snuck to the edge of the garden and peered down the street. It was empty. The red-faced man was gone. He let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. He could still make it to school on time if he ran. Though he didn't know why he was in such a hurry to go to school. The red-faced man would be waiting for him there too.

*

Perry was lucky for the rest of the morning and didn't see the man once. He started to feel relaxed; he was even able to work out the hardest equation for once. It was during fourth period English class that everything went wrong.

He loved English class, even if his teacher, Ms Allen, was one of the strictest teachers he'd ever had at Manor House College. She sat at the front of the class seemingly engrossed in marking their Shakespeare essays from last week, but Perry knew she was paying attention to everything that was happening in the room. No one messed around in Ms Allen's classes. The boy sat next to Perry, Gregory, wasn't doing his work though. He was doodling what looked like lots of eyeballs in his text book. He would be in trouble if Ms Allen saw that. Perry fiddled with his pen before writing vigorously about the conventions of autobiography. He had written nearly two pages when the back of his neck started to prickle and his palms went clammy.

As if he was being forced, his head turned to the classroom window. Outside, stood in the middle of the rugby pitch, was the red-faced man. His skinless lips peeled apart, forming a sinister grin. He lifted his arm and pointed his red, scabbed hand at Perry as if he could see straight into the classroom to where he was sat.

Perry couldn't help it. He yelped, jumped out of his chair, ran across the room and yanked down the blind. Ms Allen's head snapped up from her desk. Her eyes narrowed behind her thick glasses. Perry had sagged against the wall in relief but his body tensed again as he faced the class. Every eye was on him. Before Ms Allen could tell him off, one of the boys at the back of the class called out.

   'Typical paranoid Perry behaviour.’ He nudged his friend who let out a loud laugh. Before Perry knew it, the whole class was laughing and jeering at him.

   'Paranoid Perry! Paranoid Perry!'

   'That is enough!' Ms Allen screeched. The class quietened immediately but Perry noticed that some of the kids were holding in giggles. Perry faced Ms Allen, not sure who was more terrifying; her or the red-faced man.

   'What is the meaning of this, Mr Prince?'

There was a long pause before Perry blurted out. 'The sun was in my eyes.'

Perry knew this was a feeble excuse as soon as he said it. Ms Allen surveyed him over the top of her glasses. The sun was clearly not in his eyes as he was on the far side of the classroom. His hands twitched nervously so he shoved them in his trouser pockets.

   'Very well. I understand,' she said at last and Perry's hopes rose. 'But everyone will stay behind for ten minutes to make up for all the time you wasted with your elaborate display.' The whole class groaned as one and glared at Perry as he made his way back to his chair. The only person who didn't seem to mind was Gregory, who was still drawing eyes even though his pen had run out of ink.

*

By the time they were let out of class most of the other students were already in the cafeteria. The rest of his class hurried off eager to meet their friends. Perry headed in the opposite direction. He never ate in the cafeteria; he had no one to sit with. Instead he found an empty classroom and hoped that any teachers that found him would have enough mercy to let him stay. Today he chose a classroom that was as far away from the rugby field as possible. He ended up in the Geography department and found comfort in the maps that covered the walls. The world was so big that surely he couldn't be the only person on it that could see scary things for no reason. Right?

He settled into a chair and pulled out his lunch. Tuna sandwiches on brown bread as usual. He had only taken one bite when he heard footsteps echoing down the corridor. Busted already. He waited for a teacher to burst in and tell him to get out and 'play with his friends'. The footsteps got louder and louder, faster and faster, and flew right past the classroom. Surprised, Perry put down his sandwich and crept towards the door. He opened it carefully and winced at its loud creaking. He left it a few seconds before he dared to look down the corridor. His stomach flipped at what he saw.

At the end of the corridor, closer than Perry had ever seen him before, was the red-faced man. He looked even more terrifying up close. His flesh had peeled off leaving raw slices of bloody muscle. His face was still stretched into the lipless grin and Perry counted more sharp teeth than any normal human should possess. He had no skin around his nose either, only two festering holes. The red-faced man's black sockets stared endlessly at a girl Perry had never seen before.

She was unlike any of the other girls at school. She looked around Perry’s age but was at least three inches tall than him. She was wearing a pair of scruffy jeans, an old band t-shirt, and her dark hair was tied into a messy ponytail. She stood only a couple of feet away from Perry, staring hard at the red-faced man. Perry's heart stopped.

Someone else could see him.

*

Perry jumped as the girl spoke.

   ‘What are you?' Her voice was loud and strong. If Perry had ever spoken to the red-faced man it would have come out in a squeak.

The red-faced man didn't reply, which only seemed to make the strange girl angrier.

   'I said what are you?'

To Perry’s shock, the red-faced man glanced at Perry, his empty sockets boring into him. His grin lengthened across his face, revealing even more sharpened teeth. He looked back at the girl and Perry instantly knew something was wrong. He took no chances. He raced down the corridor and barrelled into the girl. They both went crashing into an empty classroom just as the red-faced man thundered past. Before he could turn around, Perry slammed the door and began pushing tables and chairs in front of it. He was just about to add another chair to the pile when the girl yelled at him.

*

Lenore Scribe resisted the urge to give her dad the finger as he drove off in his new BMW. She knew she was supposed to love her dad and all but he made it so difficult. Why should she love him when he clearly didn't love her? She shrugged her backpack onto her shoulder and stormed up to Manor House College before she got herself riled up.

If there was one thing worse than parents it was school, especially a new school.

She listened patiently as Headmaster Brocklehurst explained all of the school rules and how rule breaking would not be tolerated. She pretended to care when a clearly bored older student showed her around the different departments of Manor House College. But she didn't even try to hide her anger when a huge guy, at least three years older than her, rammed into her and scoffed 'Newbie.'

Instead she turned around and elbowed him in the gut.

This time she did pay attention to what Headmaster Brocklehurst had to say.

   'Miss Scribe you should watch yourself, especially considering your short stature. The corridors can become crowded and we never resort to violence here.'

Lenore resented being called small, petite, tiny, or cute. What she lacked in size she made up for in strength. Which was probably why she ended up in so many fights. She didn't let Headmaster Brocklehurst know that, though.

   'Headmaster I'm so sorry,' she said, forcing fake tears to swell in her eyes. 'I just reacted, you know how it is being a new girl, there’s so much drama and it can be so hard.' Lenore sniffed loudly.

Headmaster Brocklehurst nodded, his face flushing pink. He awkwardly handed her a tissue which she blew her nose into noisily.  Then the bell for lunch rang making even Headmaster Brocklehurst jump.

   ‘Well, as long as you don’t let it happen again, you’re free to go to lunch, Miss Scribe.’  

   ‘Thank you, Headmaster Brocklehurst, I’ll be good from now on.’

As soon as she left his office Lenore let her tears dry. Maybe being a petite little girl had its advantages after all.

*

Lenore had thought about simply eating her lunch in the toilets, where she wouldn’t be disturbed, but she knew she had to be strong at school. You couldn’t show weakness otherwise they would tear you apart. She held her head up high as she entered the dining hall prepared for all gawking. She quickly scanned the room. The whole of the school’s population was crowded under one roof, including the staff. She had no idea where to sit. Each table was already packed with big groups of students. There were big, beefy boys in sports gear and Lenore recognised the huge guy from earlier. Figured he was a rugby player. There were groups of kids with their text books out doing extra science and maths equations; and a group of girls crowded together but all on their phones, totally ignoring each other.  Lenore didn’t think she would fit in with any of them. In the far corner she spotted a single empty table. A safe haven. She was about to hurry over when a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. Lenore looked at the dainty hand that clung to her with a death grip, the painted nails digging into her skin. She switched her gaze to the owner of the hand. Blond hair, perfect make-up, and a smile that was more predatory than it was friendly. 

   ‘Hey, I’m Cathy and you’re the new girl right, Eleanor, is it?’ The girl’s smile gleamed brightly.

   ‘Lenore actually.’

   ‘Right, right. So, my girls and I were thinking you could sit with us. You look pretty lonely.’ Cathy widened her highly mascaraed eyes sympathetically.

Lenore looked to the two other girls. They both smiled and nodded. Lenore didn’t feel at ease. Lenore didn’t want to sit with them then she remembered what her Dad had said to her the day before. Something like, ‘try to make friends at this school, and for once in your life be normal’. She’d resented that. She had been normal, it was everything else around her that had been weird. Cathy’s grasp on her wrist tightened. 

   ‘Thanks that would be great,’ Lenore quickly agreed.

Cathy’s grip loosened and Lenore pulled herself free. Little half-moon shapes were etched into her wrist. She set her bag down on the floor and pulled out her lunch, very aware that all three girls were watching her intently.

   ‘Sorry, what were your names again?’ Lenore asked awkwardly.

   ‘She’s Jay,’ Cathy said pointing to the girl with long curly black hair. ‘And she’s Liz,’ she said as the girl with dead straight mousey brown hair wiggled her fingers in greeting.

   ‘Can’t they talk or something?’

   ‘Of course they can, silly,’ Cathy said, once again speaking for them. ‘So Eleanor-’

   ‘Lenore.’

   ‘Right, right. Lenore, whatever. What’s your story?’

   ‘My story?’

Lenore’s tummy twisted. How could they know about that?

   ‘Yeah, you know, where’d you live? What do your parents do? Any hot older siblings?’ At this all three girls burst into giggles. Lenore sagged in relief, they didn’t know after all.

   ‘I live up near the woods, Fay Grove.’

Cathy let out a gasp.

   ‘Fay Grove? Wow, you must be minted.’

   ‘I guess.’

   ‘If you’re so rich, why are you wearing that?’ Jay finally spoke.

Lenore looked down at her old torn at the knee jeans and the Stones t-shirt that used to belong to her mum. She was about to ask what was wrong with her outfit when she saw it.

A man stood by the dining hall doors. Not just any man. His lips were torn back to reveal deadly sharp teeth. The flesh around his nose had peeled away leaving only twisted holes instead of nostrils. And even though his sockets were empty he was definitely staring straight at her. The worst was the colour of his skin. It was a red like freshly spilt blood.

She wasn’t surprised that no one else could see this horrific man, they never could. Cathy, Jay, and Liz were all watching her, waiting for her to defend her choice of clothing.

   ‘Sorry, I gotta go.’ She leapt from the table, not fussed by the three girls’ cries of surprise.

Lenore turned back to the dining hall doors. The man was gone. She rushed through them into the corridor; he was still nowhere to be seen. Outside of the dining hall the school was silent, her trainers squeaked as she hurried down the locker lined corridor, peering into empty classrooms. The man couldn’t have gone far, he had to be near. She raced down more corridors, getting lost in all the twists and turns. This time Lenore sensed him before she saw him. She whipped around to see the red-faced man stood at the far end of the corridor, blocking her off from the rest of the school.

The skin around his teeth stretched taut and Lenore knew he was smiling. She faced him head on and took a deep breath.

   ‘What are you?’ she demanded. The red-faced man did nothing.

   ‘I said what are you?’ His empty gazed seemed to flicker to something behind her. Before she could do anything, something barrelled into her abdomen forcing all the air out of her lungs. She and the thing tumbled backwards together into an unused classroom.

*

   'What the hell, man!' she exploded.

Perry took a couple of steps back, afraid she was going to hit him.

   'Sorry,' he muttered. 'It's just that, well, you were in danger.' Even he knew that sounded lame. He resisted the urge to hang his head. He wanted at least one person in this school to take him seriously. To his surprise the girl didn't laugh.

   'Wait, danger. You saw that man too?'

Perry's brain did a double take. Millions of thoughts flooded his mind and he tried to say them all at once resulting in a single word that sounded like 'blerugha'.

   'Calm down,' the girl said. 'I'm Lenore.'

   ‘A new girl?'

   ‘Yeah, and you are?'

   'Perry. Perry Prince.' He held out his hand then smoothed back his curly hair instead. Luckily, she didn’t seem to notice.

   'Perry, cool.' Lenore was silent for a while, like she was trying to work out what was going on. Perry was finding everything just as weird.

   'So you can see that red-faced man, too.'

   'Yeah, every day for the past month.'

   'A month? And he follows you around like this?'

Perry shuffled uncomfortably, unsure whether this girl Lenore was making fun of him or not.

   'Well, I used to just seem him standing around; I’ve never seen him move before.’

Now he really expected Lenore to burst out laughing. Call him Paranoid Perry, just like everyone else. Instead she simply nodded.

   'And that's why you rugby tackled me in here because you thought he was coming for me?'

Perry nodded and smiled sheepishly, still expecting her to bed mad. Instead she was moving the table and chairs away from the door, which was much worse.

   'Hey, what are you doing? He could still be out there!'

   'We have to go out some time,' she said simply as she reached for the door handle.

   'And what are you going to do once you're out there? Just stare him away?' Perry asked in a sudden burst of confidence.

   'I guess we'll find out.'

The door swung open and Lenore stepped out into the corridor. Perry held his breath. Nothing happened. He stepped out next to her. The corridor was completely empty. Just then the bell rang and hundreds of students flooded the corridors. 

The red-faced man was nowhere to be seen.

Creative Writing Dissertation Reading

Now that my supervisor replied to my email I should be writing, but I find that I can't stop reading. I'd forgotten how easy and fun it is to read young adult fiction, much better than serious books, or worst Wuthering Heights. 

I bought quite a few books at the beginning of the summer but haven't read most of them yet. I started reading Gone by Michael Grant and became addicted, meaning the other books would have to wait. At first I didn't think it was that great but I really got sucked in. I was drawn in because Grant didn't explain everything or answer any questions, he only made more, so I just had to read on to find out what was going on. I've now read three other books in the series with the fifth one on the way, but am still excited to see how it's going to end. The last book doesn't come out until April and I'm becoming impatient. I haven't had to wait for a book to come out since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 

After I read those books I looked into what other teen books were popular and decided to read some Darren Shan. I picked Cirque du Freak as it seemed to be the most popular with the kids, and my friend Lauren highly recommended it. I particularly wanted to read some Shan as he is a great horror writer, and I admit it was pretty scary and plenty gory at some points. Although vampires aren't my favourite supernatural monster, and Twilight has made them so much worse, I wasn't put off and found the way he was turned into a vampire very interesting. I haven't read the rest of the series yet as there are quite a few books, and I can't afford all of them. I might get around to it eventually because my friend Lauren says it has a great ending, and I do love a good ending.

At the moment I am reading the Percy Jackson series, and I just love them! I read them ages ago when they first came out but they are still amazing years later. I suggested that my boyfriend read them and then I decided that really wanted to read them again, too. It just so happened that it is also research for my ECP - genius. I have always liked Greek myths and these books really satisfy my need for gods and goddesses, while having a fascinating and gripping plot. I have seen that Rick Riordan has also written another Greek inspired series, The Heroes of Olympus and The Kane Chronicles, which is based on Egyptian mythology. After I have finished rereading Percy Jackson I may look into these other series.

Today I went shopping and bought some more books, though I realise that I should be reading the books I already have, but I can't help it! I think buying books is better retail therapy than clothes shopping is. So, I bought The Recruit which is the first book in the CHERUB series. From the questionnaires I did I found that this series was quite popular and it is a best seller so I thought I'd give it a read. It's about child agents which reminds me of the Alex Rider series, and I liked that as a teen so I'll probably like this one too.

The other book I bought was a surprise. It's called Uncle Montague's Tales of Terror by Chris Priestley. The reason why it's a surprise is because it seems to be a twist on Edgar Allan Poe's stories. Does that sound familiar to you? Yeah, that's right, that's what my ECP is about, aaah! I am going to read it after Percy Jackson and pray that it isn't too much like my idea, I would be devastated if it was.

Here's the blurb:

'Edgar can't resist the terrifyingly twisted tales his Uncle Montague tells when he visits him at his house beyond the woods.
But what is his Uncle's connection with the dark stories? Prepare to be chilled to the bone as you discover that Uncle Montague is the subject of perhaps the most terrifying tale of all.
This is a seriously scary book...Are you brave enough to read on?'

Frankly, I think my idea sounds better. At least I hope it does!

The best thing about book shopping today was that I got a free book, and not a crap one either. It was actually a book I had been looking at earlier. I first heard about it my Fiction for Children module and thought it sounded interesting, mainly because it was about time travel, and who doesn't love a bit of time travel? It's Time Riders by Alex Scarrow. It was supposed to be free when you pre-ordered the new Artemis Fowl book but the Waterstones lady gave it to me anyway. Score! Waterstones workers are so nice.

As you can see I have a lot of reading to do, not to mention the reading I have to do for my modules, which seem so boring. If you have any other book suggestions for me to read, go ahead a comment below!

New Plot Synopsis Feedback

Hurrah! My ECP supervisor has finally emailed me back, and with good feedback. If you haven't already you should probably read the synopsis first.

So, here's what she said:

'Hi Holly - some of your ideas here are really interesting - I love the aspect of re-writing endings and this strange mix of characters from books and contemporary characters being in it together. The plot feels a little muddied but that's OK at this stage- I'm sure it will start to feel clearer once you start writing. I think you have something a bit different here and it could work really well.

Well done for going and talking to some 'real' readers and having the strength to change your ideas to suit a real market - lots of students find this really hard to do as they get too set in their first thoughts so you are working professionally already. Excellent! 

I suggest you write the first three chapters in draft form, revisit your synopsis and think about what might need to change, then let me have a look at it.

Keep in mind the popular books you've been researching with - notice how they use dialogue, action, setting, description and pace, and try and incorporate these styles into your own - you don't want to lose your 'voice' but you do want to capture that contemporary edge.

If you find this hard, sometimes it works to literally copy out a page of one of the books that most impressed you, word for word, then carry on with the second page yourself in the same style and tone. When you've done this, begin yours - you should find you are in 'the zone' by doing this exercise, and that the style comes through fairly naturally.

Happy writing!'

I'm glad that she likes the mix of characters. If I carry on this series after University I have big plans for many more characters, like the Bronte sisters and Austen fighting over who has the best romantic male character. But that won't be for ages yet. I mean, I have to write three chapters first. I know I like writing but I'd rather read right now. And I have been doing lots of reading for this project, all I've been reading lately are young adult books. I should really start reading books from my reading list soon. but the seems so boring! I do like the advice about writing out a page of a book I like, I never thought about doing that before. 
So now that I have her feedback better get started on the serious stuff. Oh, and I said I would do another character profile sheet soon, I should do that too!

New Plot Synopsis

Well, I emailed my new ECP plot synopsis to my supervisor days ago and she still hasn't replied. I know she's having her holiday and she's not obligated to email me back during the summer but I really want her to! I just want to know her feedback. I did say I'd post the synopsis here after I received her feedback but seeing as she's taking so long I'm just going to post it now.

I said a little bit about it in a post a while ago but here's the full version.

Lenore moves to a new town with her Dad who commutes to the city, so is rarely there.

On her first day at her new school she doesn’t know who to hang out with. So instead of going to the lunchroom she wanders the corridors. While wandering she sees a terrifying man with a disfigured red face. She tries to run away but is pulled into an empty classroom by a boy, Perry. He is shocked that Lenore can see the man; no one else can see him and say it’s all in his head, and lately every time he sees the man, he’s closer.

Perry invites her to sit with him and they become friends. On their way home they see a man being arrested for murdering his landlord and burying him in the floorboards. He’s screaming about a blind eye. Worried, they hurry home and Perry explains that these sorts of things have been happening all over the town recently.

Lenore starts seeing a strange man and she’s determined to find out who he is. She decides to follow him and he leads her back to a large house on the edge of town. She sneaks in and sees piles of papers everywhere and takes some. She overhears the man talking while writing. He talks of a man pulling out his wife’s teeth. But before Lenore can confront the man, a strange boy comes in after her and pulls her away. It’s Raven Boy, a scruffy looking boy who can only say ‘Nevermore’. He wants to express that it’s dangerous but can’t.

The next day the people are talking about Mr Egaeus, a man who pulled out his wife’s teeth. Lenore, Perry and Raven Boy realise that what the mysterious man writes comes true.

They decide to Google ‘stories coming true’ but nothing comes up. Raven Boy pushes them aside and Googles ‘nevermore’. It comes up with the Raven and Edgar Allan Poe, a famous writer. Lenore recognises the picture instantly as the mysterious man.

Lenore remembers the papers she took. One’s a story about a boy who was followed by many ravens. The story ends with the boy being cursed so he can only say ‘Nevermore’. It is a story about Raven Boy. Perry decides that if this man can write people’s fates so can he. He rewrites the end of Raven Boy’s story so he can talk again. It doesn’t work though. Perry suggests Lenore try, but she hates writing ever since she wrote a story when she was a child that resulted in her mother’s death. Yet she realises that this could save people’s lives so gives it a go. Soon Raven Boy is talking again. He explains that he found out what the man was doing and went to the house but the man caught him and cursed him. Since then no one has taken him seriously.

Happily, they try to change Perry’s story so that the red faced man won’t get him. Unfortunately it doesn’t work and the next day the red man is there again, this time only metres away. They wonder why it didn’t work and Raven Boy suggests that they can’t just write an ending, they need the rest of the story, too. They have to go back to the mysterious man’s house.

They sneak back at night and grab all the papers and books they can but they can’t find Perry’s story. While there the mysterious man finds them he chases them off by writing of the red masked man. The red masked man finally catches Perry and drags him away. Raven Boy is also taken away by a flock of ravens.

Lenore is alone.

Perry and Raven Boy are stuck between a pit full of rats and a scythe-like pendulum as torture. The red masked man and ravens guard them, while many black cats patrol the area. Lenore sneaks back to the house and down to the basement wary of the guards. She whips out the papers they took earlier and writes that the cats kill all the ravens and she stops the mechanism before the pendulum slices them. During the pandemonium Perry overcomes his fear and pushes the red masked man into the pit to be eaten by rats. Lenore leaves them to take down the mysterious man.

In the study he waits for her. He says that Lenore doesn’t understand how much power she possesses but before she can ask anymore Perry and Raven Boy rush in with the pendulum and push the man into the large fireplace. Lenore is devastated that she didn’t find out what he meant.

When they visit the house the next day it’s completely empty and a ‘for sale’ sign is outside.

This will be part of a series with other gothic writers appearing in the town, like Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley, and Robert Louis Stevenson. 

Please if you have any feedback I would really appreciate some comments. I want to know what everyone thinks of it. 

New ECP Plot Idea?

I have become pretty bad at updating my blog lately, mainly because it's the summer holidays. I did say to myself before the holidays that I was going to keep on top of it and update regularly. Yeah, that didn't happen. So I'm saying now that I will do at least four posts this month, including another character profile sheet. You can tell me off if I don't.

Anyway, this post is about my new plot synopsis. That's right, I've changed my idea for my dissertation. I haven't told my ECP supervisor yet and I'll email it to her before I post it here. I changed my idea for two reasons. One, the questionnaire results showed that my previous idea wouldn't do too well in the market, the kids wouldn't want to read it. And secondly, I was bored of it. The whole thing seemed boring and I wouldn't want to read it either, frankly I didn't want to write it. I'm already excited to write my new idea though.

The changes I've made are because of the results. I haven't changed everything though. Edgar Allan Poe is still involved, the main character is still Lenore, and weird Gothicy things are still happening around town.

It was clear from the results that readers between 12-15 years old liked ambiguous endings (although many of them had to ask what ambiguous meant...) so I have now made my idea part of a series, that way I don't have to answer all the questions at once or wrap it up neatly, and there can be a cheeky cliffhanger or two. Series are way more popular too, if you think of any young adult books they are probably part of a series, and usually a best selling one.

I've also changed the genre. It is more of a horror/fantasy/mystery with some actiony elements thrown in. Fantasy was a big favourite and I'm not surprised, I'm now glad I'm taking the Sci-fi and Fantasy module this year. Romance, on the other hand, wasn't a particular favourite, in fact all the boys hated it. But I will have a hint of romance, as it seems all the popular young adults have a little love triangle going on, think The Hunger Games Series and (though I hate to say it) The Twilight Series.

While Lenore is still the main character she's now not the only one. I am planning to write it from multiple viewpoints as the results showed that while young readers may have preferred male protagonists they didn't mind either gender, really, so I thought I'd do a little bit of both too. Also, I have been reading the Gone Series, which has many viewpoints which works pretty well, it really keeps you interested and moves the story along at a nice pace. Though some character's stories are a lot more exciting than the others. These books also made me realise that some weird things happen in books but kids just go along with it. (It also has a thing called a 'gaiaphage'. Seriously, since doing the Writing and the Environment module I've heard about Gaia everywhere. She won't leave me alone!)

I have tried writing in the present tense as well as the past tense and I haven't decided which one I like more. I always have issues with tense; I skip between them all the time meaning I lose marks quite a bit. I'm thinking that if I do it in present tense maybe I won't skip so much, and the results showed that the readers do prefer the present tense. It's a decision I will make at a later date, after my supervisor has okayed the plot.

It will probably be in third person just so the point of views don't get all muddled. Also because I always do the first person so it might be nice to try something new. Third person allows you to explore more and not just be stuck in the character's head.

So there were some hints about my new idea. I'll post it later this month along with a character profile sheet about the new Lenore and maybe the other characters too.

Reading Questionnaire for Teenagers - The Results

I took my teen reading questionnaire (which everyone should do!) to my local community college and had some of the kids in the library fill it out. Now I've turned the results into some funky graphs. I'm going to get more questionnaires filled out at a later date, as the school has now closed for the summer holidays.
On another note, but not totally unrelated, I am having second thoughts about my ECP idea, it turns out that a lot of teens like fantasy and mine isn't very fantastical. In fact, the more I think about it, the more boring it becomes. Anyway, enjoy these results first and I will be posting some other ECP plot synopses soon.

ECP Plot Synopsis Feedback

Here is what my supervisor said in regards to my ECP plot synopsis:

'Plot holds together well and I enjoyed reading it and can see it working, and I think the Poe references will be fun - could you get in more codes etc to encourage readers to cross reference with his work- the Poe aspect gives it an original touch (the storyline itself is fairly traditional with no real twists or suprises, although this may change as you begin to work through) so I think anything that gives this a more unique angle will help it. It does seem young - more 8-11 than teenage - nothing happens that is really going to place this as an older read unless your writing style itself is very dark, complex, edgy or subtle, so once I've seen your sample I can give better feedback on where it might fit in terms of the market, so the next thing is to let me see the first 500 words so I can assess that better.'

I'm glad she enjoyed the plot, I was worried it may be overly complicated or a bit boring. Hopefully everyone else will understand the Poe references, or at least this story will encourage readers to look at Poe's work. She said it seemed more 8-11 which is annoying, I don't want to write for kids, I want to write for teenagers. The thing that makes a story for teenage is, you've guessed it, sex. So I've re-written my plot making Perry more of a love interest. They don't have sex or anything but there will be some sexual tension between him and the main character, Lenore. I spent two hours last night editing it and I'll get around to posting it here when I feel totally satisfied with it. 

ECP Plot Synopsis

I have spent the last three weeks working on my ECP idea. I've suffered a few bumps, one being my laptop breaking and losing all my original ideas, but today I was ready for my meeting with my ECP supervisor. Sadly, it did not appear that my supervisor was ready...she didn't turn up. She did say that her partner was going to hospital this week, but she also said she'd email me if it was a problem, and I received no emails. Safe to say I am a little annoyed. I will have to email her my work, although it's more constructive talking through work face to face rather than over the internet. My supervisor is nice enough but it's becoming clear that she is a bit of a scatterbrain.

My biggest fear is that I'll do lots of work and research over the summer and when I return in September she'll say it's not a good or suitable idea. This is just typical!

I'll just post the synopsis here and you can tell me whether it seems like an appropriate idea for a young adult novel for girls, and maybe some boys.

ECP Plot Synopsis

Lenore Corvus and her parents move to a new town, Ravensborough, on the edge of Nevermoor. They had to move because her mum, Madeline, became sick. She suffers from Catalepsy, a disease which makes one appear dead. Her Doctor prescribed country air and rest. Lenore didn't like the idea of moving, she liked living in the city.

The house they rented was very cheap and Lenore's dad, Roderick, thought it was a great bargain. It was big and old, and hadn't been lived in for a long time. The landlord, Mr Usher, was in his sixties and had one blind eye. He came over to welcome the Corvus's to Ravensborough, and Lenore found him disturbing, she couldn't wait for him to leave.

Once Mr Usher left, the family moved into the house and Lenore's dad settled her mum into her new room. Her mum's illness was so severe that her dad has to look after her constantly. Lenore went to her room and noticed a large, dark, body shaped mark on the ceiling. She asked if she could swap rooms but her dad tells her to stop being silly, it's just a room. She has to grow up now that her mum is sick. Bored and lonely, Lenore explores the rest of the house. Lots of the rooms still have many of Mr Usher's belongings covered in dust cloths. Lenore makes her way up into the attic. The attic is filled with more belongings, boxes of books which she flicks through (The Gold Bug), photos (lots of a blonde woman, some with her face scratched out), and even a box of teeth. This only confirms her suspicions that something creepy is going on involving the house and Mr Usher. Lenore decides not to tell her dad about the things she finds in the attic, he would just tell her she's being silly again.

That night Lenore can't sleep, there is a strange scratching and howling coming from the attic, right above her room, where the dark mark is. She tried to rearrange her room so she couldn't see the dark mark on the ceiling but it still scares her.

On Monday it is her first day of school. She's worried that she won't fit in, or that the students will be horrible. When she gets there she realises that it won't be a problem. The school is eerie and quiet. All the students are silent and incredibly well behaved, the opposite of her old school. No one talks to her or tries to make friends with her, they all seem scared. During assembly Lenore realises that the headmaster is Mr Usher, her landlord, and he's incredibly strict.

The next day, after another terrible night's sleep, someone talks to her at school. His name is Perry and he has recently moved to Ravensborough himself. He thinks that everyone is weird because of the headmaster and his strict ruling. Lenore explains that he is also her landlord. She mentions all the odd things that have happened to her since she's moved into the house. Perry says it sounds like something that would happen in an Edgar Allan Poe story. Lenore doesn't know who that is so they go to the school library to find one of his books. The only book there is a compilation of his poems. On one of the pages there is a cryptic message. Perry has no idea what it means but Lenore realises that she has seen this sort of code before. It was in one of the books in the attic, The Gold Bug.

They check the book out and after school go back to Lenore's house. Her dad isn't bothered by what she does, he's too focused on her mum. Lenore and Perry go up into the attic and using The Gold Bug, crack the code. It says something about a one eyed man, something called Ligeia, and a body buried under the floorboards. They don't know what Ligeia is but guess that the one eyed man is Mr Usher. They decide to go the town library to see if they have any more Poe books.

At the library they find a short story by Poe called Ligeia. When they go to check it out the elderly, gossipy, librarian talks about a woman called Ligeia who lived in the town, and she was an odd one. They ask what happened to her and the librarian tells them that she went crazy and now lives up at the Nevermoor Asylum.

At Lenore's house they read Ligeia but it doesn't have any more cryptic messages. Perry suggests that they visit the Asylum. It's only a few miles away, they could go there at the weekend. For the next couple of days they go to school like normal but Lenore feels like Mr Usher knows what they are doing.

On Saturday they walk to the Nevermoor Asylum. Once there they ask to see Ligeia. She doesn't seem too crazy to them. They ask her about the code and Mr Usher. At first she seems frightened but she soon tells them what happened. Nearly 25 years ago her sister, Rowena, was married to Mr Usher. It was a marriage of conveience and she didn't love him at all. But she had an affair with someone she did love. When Mr Usher found out he went crazy and attacked her. He knew her smile was the most beautiful part of her so he pulled out all her teeth. In the end he killed her in a rage and buried her under the floorboards. Ligeia had witnessed the whole thing. She was going to tell someone about Mr Usher but he convinced everyone that she was crazy; people already thought she was odd and readily believed him. He told the towns people that Rowena had run away with another man and that he was devestated. Ligeia was too afraid to tell anyone, even if they did believe her, in case Mr Usher killed her too. After a few years Ligeia was admitted to the Asylum and hadn't left since. She had written the code in the book years ago hoping that one day someone would find it; if she couldn't talk about it she would write about it.

Before they had left, Lenore and Perry called the police and asked them to hurry to the house. Lenore and Perry didn't know, but once they had left, the head Doctor and personal friend of Mr Usher, Doctor Tarr, had called Mr Usher. He always wanted to know if anyone visited Ligeia in case she told anyone the truth. When he found out it was Lenore he rushed over to the house.When they arrived home Mr Usher was waiting for them. They tried to escape him by running into the house and up to the attic, Mr Usher followed them. A policeman, Mr Dupin, arrived and, noticing the door wide open, walked in. He bumped into Lenore's dad and together they followed the commotion upstairs.

In the attic Lenore and Perry accused Mr Usher of killing his wife. He denied it but he was becoming more nervous. He hadn't been in the house for years. The strange howling noise started again and this scared Mr Usher. Crazed by guilt he confessed and pulled up the floorboards. Mr Dupin and Lenore's dad arrived just in time to see the toothless skeleton. Mr Usher was arrested straight away. The howling noise had turned out to be Rowena's old cat who had mysteriously survived for over 25 years.

Soon the school had a new headmaster and the quickly the students became more relaxed and Lenore made new friends. Ligeia, after spending years in the Asylum was now crazy and so couldn't leave. Lenore's mum eventually came out of her Cataleptic state and her health improved greatly. They could now move back to the city, but Lenore found that she rather liked it in Ravensborough with Perry after all.

The End.

So there you have it. I'm not sure if the ending is too abrupt and hopefully the whole murder mystery thing makes sense. All the names are taken from Edgar Allan Poe stories, and so are most of the scenarios. Do you think this would be too scary for teenagers (aged 12 upwards), or do you think they could cope?

Leave a comment below if you have any ideas or constructive criticisms.

Creative Writing Dissertation - ECP

Last week I had a meeting about my ECP (Extended Creative Piece). It's the Creative Writing version of a regular dissertation. It takes the place of two modules, so I only have to do six modules next year, but that still means 12 pieces of coursework as well as a dissertation. The ECP includes an 8000 word creative piece, which can be a couple of chapters of a story, a collection of poems, a screenplay, literally anything involving writing! Then I have to do a 2000 word rationale, not so interesting. I'm not so good at these, but hopefully I will have a lot of help and will have improved by this time next year. 

So, my meeting was with Judy Waite, my ECP supervisor. She was my lecturer for Fiction for Children module, and Creativity in the first year. She's a fun, and very creative person. She also knows a lot about the children's and young adult publishing/writing world. She has written quite a few books like Game Girls, which you may have heard of as it was pretty controversial and in the news, Forbidden, and The Next Big Thing as well as many others. I haven't read any of them yet but I keep meaning to. 

My idea for my ECP involves YAF and textual intervention. For Christmas I was given a huge book of Edgar Allan Poe stories and poems and I thought that would be a good contrast to the typical teenager fiction. I had thought of doing something about Maggie who takes all the advice from women's magazines. Judy thought it sounded good, but was a bit too complex for an 8000 word piece. She seemed very interested in textual intervention, which I had forgotten about really. We discussed what I would have to research over the summer, like talking to librarians, people at Waterstones, and maybe any teenage girls I know.

I have to go back in June for another meeting. By this point I need a 500 word synopsis and three pieces experimental writing. This may seem easy but I literally don't know what to write about. Well, that's not quite true, I have a few ideas rattling about. 

The main character, a girl (name undecided) moves to a new house in a little town near a place called the Nevermoor. The house and town are creepy, like something from a Tim Burton film. Things start happening to the girl that resemble the works of Edgar Allan Poe, like a black cat with one eye, ravens flocking, and bodies under the floorboards. The house will have been the place of a murder and to find out who the murderer is the girl has to read Poe's books and find out the endings. Of course, while this is all happening she will meet a boy and romance will ensue. 

Or something.

I haven't fully decided yet. But I'll keep mulling it over and hopefully more will come to me. Probably when I'm trying to sleep. It reminds me a little of Neil Gaiman's Coraline. You know, she moves to a new house, with a black cat hanging around, and there's the strange little door and the Other Mother. I would like that same level of magical creepiness in my own piece. 

I still have a while to decide. Until then I will have to think, think, think! If you have any ideas or thoughts, just leave a comment. 

The Fun of Module Selections

I have now chosen my modules for next year. It was hard this time as there were many modules that I didn't want to do, there seemed to be quite a few scriptwriting and poetry ones. While I like occasionally doing some scriptwriting and poetry  I don't think I could manage doing any more assignments about them. In the end I chose: Advanced Fictional Writing, Writing for Comics and Graphic Novels, Writing History Fiction, Science Fictions, and Creative Visions. I also wanted to do Writing Non-Fiction for Children but I could only choose three modules for the first semester. I was also tempted to do Creativity: Writing and Teaching, as I am considering being an English tutor or TA after University. However, I am still a little bit shy and the module description said it wasn't for the meek and students would have to act very silly, which isn't very me.


I will also be doing Creative Voice which is compulsory and I have been doing it for the past three years. This module explores a range of writing styles and techniques and encourages us to really look at our own writing. For example, I recently had to do a self-evaluation of my last year, and believe me it is hard to write about yourself critically. There is also a lot work-shopping and reading pieces out loud, so it has helped with my shyness somewhat. Last year I had to read a whole 2000 word piece out in front of class, but it wasn't too bad in the end. 


This third year also means FYP, or Final Year Project. This is the Creative Writing version of a dissertation, it's a creative piece of around 8000 words and a rationale or commentary of 2000 words. This may seem like a lot but it really isn't. It reminds me of when I first started Art, a sheet of A3 paper seemed massive and A2 was enormous, I never thought I'd do enough drawings to fill those pieces of paper! But now I look at those pieces of paper and think they're tiny, I mean, A4 is practically nothing! It's the same with writing. I used to think writing 1500 words would be hard, but you can do that in an hour if you know what you're writing. And 8000 will be nothing, especially when the average teen book is 40,000 - 45,000 words, 8000 words will barely get you through the introduction!

Overall, I am most excited for Comics and Graphic Novels as it's something completely different. I am a little bit apprehensive of Science Fictions because I'm not sure if I'm that nerdy, will I be able to make up all the crazy science jargon? Maybe I should watch more Star Trek! But before I can even think of third year, I have to get through this year first, although, I only have 6 weeks left!