Another Experimental Piece

This is quite an old piece, written in my first couple weeks of university. It was done in my module Language, Writing, and Reading. This module was about understanding the basics of writing including punctuation, grammar, sentence structure, how we read, how we write etc. This module also encourage us to explore these things and how by changing a certain aspect of our writing we can change its reading completely.

Anyway, for this piece we had to choose 8 nouns, 4 concrete (Physical objects) and 4 abstract (Not physical but still something you can possess). Mine were: Dog, Man, Table, and Tree. Then: Strength, Sadness, Fear, and Love.

After we had chosen our nouns we then had to write a story including each of the concrete nouns, here's mine:

It was late and everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made in the electric light. He had been there all day, sat in the same wicker chair at the same table without moving. The waiters had asked if wanted to order anything, but he only ever asked for tap water. The man sipped at the water until the glass was empty, and the waiter would bring another. Men and women had walked by and still he did not move. Dogs ran up to him and wagged their tails; begging to be petted and still he did not move. He was as still as an old tree on a windless day. Everyone had left the cafe and still he did not move.

So now we had to:
Swap the concrete nouns for the abstract nouns we chose,
Make all the sentences under 19 words long,
Replace he/she for the word 'it',
Cut out all punctuation.
And this is what I got:

It was late and everyone had left the cafe except an old sadness who sat in the shadow the leaves of the love made against the electric light it had been there all day sat in the same wicker chair at the same fear without moving the waiters had asked if it wanted to order anything but it only ever asked for tap water the sadness sipped at the water until the glass was empty and the waiters would bring another men and women had walked by and still it did not move strengths ran up to him and wagged their tails begging to be petted and still it did not move it was as still as an old love on a windless day everyone had left the cafe and still it did not move

How about you give it a go?

Experimental Piece

For one of my first assignments at University we had to write a short experimental piece. In this piece we had to experiment with grammar or punctuation or sentence structure etc. For my piece I was greatly inspired by 'A Clockwork Orange' and as you read it you'll probably guess how. But my question for you is: can you guess what this story is about?

Experimental Piece

It was morning and time for the yenobeck to get up. He hated Ponjedjel-niks; but everyone hates Ponjedjel-niks. It was dark still. He also hated getting up at six o’clock, but that couldn’t be helped, pagotab started at nine. He showered and dressed; putting his Brjuki on backwards and his rubaska on inside out. He really hated Ponjedjel-niks. He brushed his volosf and his zubistitb, taking extra care with his zubistitb. After all, he pagotabed with zubistitb; it was his duty to make sure his looked perfect. He then had to wake the rjebjonoks, and of course, that was a struggle. His zjena was no help when it came to these things; she was not a morning person. It was up to him to feed the rjebjonoks and the sobaka, then take the rjebjonoks to skola and walk the sobaka. Then finally, off to pagotab.

The yenobeck, while he hated many things, did not hate his pagotab. In fact, he loved his pagotab. Many people may think it’s boring to pagotab with zubistitb, but he loved it. Every morning was a pleasure. He would walk in, take of his wapka – which today had blown off in the wind – and say good morning to Barbara, the receptionist: 

-          Morning, Barbara.

-          Morning, Mr Bingley, your kofje is on your stol.

And then he would smile pleasantly and drink his kofje in peace and quiet, before his first patsient came in.

Ponjedjel-niks were a busy nik. The zubnoj vrat was closed over the v-xodnble, so any zubistitb related problems had to wait for Ponjedjel-niks. And many things can happen over the v-xodnble. Knocked out zubistitb, loose zubistitb, chipped zubistitb. Zubistitb that needed taking out, zubistitb that needed putting in. Binning old zubistitb, getting new zubistitb, and needing fake zubistitb. And yet, he never grew bored of seeing zubistitb. He especially loved his own zubistitb. Straight, white and perfect. All thanks to his beautiful plastinki. But his rjebjonok‘s zubistitb, now they needed plastinki. And his zjena. Though he didn’t dare bring that up again. Not after last time.

So, all nik long he pagotabed with zubistitb and he never felt better. But then it was five o’clock and time for the zubnoj vrat to shut. He tried to stay as long as possible but then Barbara would come in:

-          Good night, Mr Bingley, you can go rodina now.

-          Good night, Barbara.

And then he would smile pleasantly, but not really feel it, grab his wapka and leave, before the rush-hour avtomobilb.

He was not so lucky. The avtomobilb was bad, and it took him half an hour to get rodina. He finally got rodina only to have the rjebjonoks screaming and the sobaka peeing on the kovjer. In the kitchen he saw his zjena smoking out the window. She put it out when he came in. He shook his head and went upstairs to get some peace. But within moments both the rjebjonok and sobaka followed him upstairs. His rjebjonok stuffed sweets into their rots and grinned with their dreadful zubistitb.

-          Guess what, dad? It’s Ponjedjel-nik that means sugary pontik for dessert!

Yes. He hated Ponjedjel-niks.

***

Did you guess? It's about the day in the life of a Dentist! 

Creativity Competition

I have just entered by short story 'Decaying Art' into the Creativity Competition. I am the only one to have done so at the moment and the closing date is on Tuesday so let's hope someone else does enter...or not, it would make it easier to win! I have better hopes for this competition than I did for the wolf one. Wish me luck, I'll find out the result in 5 to 6 weeks!

Decaying Art

Before the end of term my Creativity II class went on a trip to an Art Gallery in Southampton. A task was set while we were there: we had to write a thousand word story based on one of the paintings we saw. This was to be entered into a competition and the winner would win some surprising prises. And here I present my story:

Decaying Art

Edit 17.05.2013: This post has been temporarily removed as I have entered it into a competition. Fingers crossed it wins! 

***

This is the painting I was inspired by: Painter's Lunch by Nigel Cooke.

So what do you think? Were you expecting that?