For one of my first assignments at University we had to write a short experimental piece. In this piece we had to experiment with grammar or punctuation or sentence structure etc. For my piece I was greatly inspired by 'A Clockwork Orange' and as you read it you'll probably guess how. But my question for you is: can you guess what this story is about?
It was morning and time for the yenobeck to get up. He hated Ponjedjel-niks; but everyone hates Ponjedjel-niks. It was dark still. He also hated getting up at six o’clock, but that couldn’t be helped, pagotab started at nine. He showered and dressed; putting his Brjuki on backwards and his rubaska on inside out. He really hated Ponjedjel-niks. He brushed his volosf and his zubistitb, taking extra care with his zubistitb. After all, he pagotabed with zubistitb; it was his duty to make sure his looked perfect. He then had to wake the rjebjonoks, and of course, that was a struggle. His zjena was no help when it came to these things; she was not a morning person. It was up to him to feed the rjebjonoks and the sobaka, then take the rjebjonoks to skola and walk the sobaka. Then finally, off to pagotab.
The yenobeck, while he hated many things, did not hate his pagotab. In fact, he loved his pagotab. Many people may think it’s boring to pagotab with zubistitb, but he loved it. Every morning was a pleasure. He would walk in, take of his wapka – which today had blown off in the wind – and say good morning to Barbara, the receptionist:
- Morning, Barbara.
- Morning, Mr Bingley, your kofje is on your stol.
And then he would smile pleasantly and drink his kofje in peace and quiet, before his first patsient came in.
Ponjedjel-niks were a busy nik. The zubnoj vrat was closed over the v-xodnble, so any zubistitb related problems had to wait for Ponjedjel-niks. And many things can happen over the v-xodnble. Knocked out zubistitb, loose zubistitb, chipped zubistitb. Zubistitb that needed taking out, zubistitb that needed putting in. Binning old zubistitb, getting new zubistitb, and needing fake zubistitb. And yet, he never grew bored of seeing zubistitb. He especially loved his own zubistitb. Straight, white and perfect. All thanks to his beautiful plastinki. But his rjebjonok‘s zubistitb, now they needed plastinki. And his zjena. Though he didn’t dare bring that up again. Not after last time.
So, all nik long he pagotabed with zubistitb and he never felt better. But then it was five o’clock and time for the zubnoj vrat to shut. He tried to stay as long as possible but then Barbara would come in:
- Good night, Mr Bingley, you can go rodina now.
- Good night, Barbara.
And then he would smile pleasantly, but not really feel it, grab his wapka and leave, before the rush-hour avtomobilb.
He was not so lucky. The avtomobilb was bad, and it took him half an hour to get rodina. He finally got rodina only to have the rjebjonoks screaming and the sobaka peeing on the kovjer. In the kitchen he saw his zjena smoking out the window. She put it out when he came in. He shook his head and went upstairs to get some peace. But within moments both the rjebjonok and sobaka followed him upstairs. His rjebjonok stuffed sweets into their rots and grinned with their dreadful zubistitb.
- Guess what, dad? It’s Ponjedjel-nik that means sugary pontik for dessert!
Yes. He hated Ponjedjel-niks.
Did you guess? It's about the day in the life of a Dentist!